Cut your losses aka Guilty makes noise

“Guilty makes noise.”

A med school friend’s mother told us this over a meal at Rumba (Vive la Nashville) in reference to the petty behavior of frienemies and snubs that women love to inflict on each other.

I am going to say that is a universal truth. The more explaining someone does when you ask or address  about a concern/question is directly proportional to how much they feel they are trapped and are trying to get out. And how NOT innocent they are.

The theme of 2013 is going to be the death of a friendship. both literally and figuratively. granted MG’s death does not mean our friendship is over. I just won’t get picked up and swung around a room, have someone threaten to beat up someone who has hurt me, or dissect the fine points of cable tv with me any longer. 

I think women are sometimes horrid to each other. but more so, cowardly. they hide behind vapidness, when they are often extremely calculating. or they hide behind vapidness when they just don’t want to face the music.

friendship is hard work. when you are friends with someone you are not sleeping with, you can’t “seduce’ your way into someone’s good graces, you have to “human” up and address things. you HAVE to talk. cry if you have to. wave your hands around. pace. 

real relationships that have depth are not for the faint of heart. and they will survive distance, miscommunication, silence, annoyance, and confusion.

i’m starting to think that if they don’t survive they were a mirage to begin with. merely something convenient for a period of time.

as an extrovert, i gain a lot of my energy from friends. i put a lot of energy in and i process my feelings/hopes/fears/dreams with them. which is why i lack a lot of tolerance for being screwed over. or at least feeling like I am. 

Love is definitely action more so than words. It is making people a priority. Letting them share in your celebrations as much as your griefs. I appreciate the friends I do have.

the people who ask how I am feeling. the people who call. the people who write. the people who visit. the people who pray for me. the people who ask me to do life with them.

we don’t have to see everything thing the same. we can disagree. but we can still support each other.

* I apparently don’t have photos of Karen, Courtney, Ali, Rebecca, Danna, Prouty, Gwen or Ayesha on my computer which is upsetting to me. Must be on the external hard drive, but I’m shouting you out ladies.

 

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Cut your losses aka Guilty makes noise

  1. Courtney

    I LOVE this post and how our lives parallel each other at times. Although for health reasons, I have called this year “Tumor Free 2013,” I have decided to make it a year of eliminating a host of “tumors” from my life, especially people. I have always had a hard time letting go of friends in part b/c I’m an introvert who doesn’t connect with many people and because when I commit to relationships it is with my whole heart and willingness to work through the bad. The Lord has increasingly helped me to release people more easily so that those tumors don’t spread in my life. I am soooooo thankful for your friendship (you rock, Britt!) and looking forward to taking a picture together in NYC 🙂

  2. I consider myself fortunate to count you as a friend too! Onward and upward!

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