Monthly Archives: April 2013

things making me happy:1. ice cream. i had

things making me happy:

1. ice cream. i had chocolate salt malt ice cream from Little Babys. 

life changing y’all.

2. Daft Punk and Pharell’s new song– Get Lucky

3. organizing my life. in preparation for moving, i’ve been cleaning out sections of the apartment. putting things in the throw away pile and whatnot. it feels good to downsize.


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April 28, 2013 · 8:40 pm


I never posted this at the end of last week:

By the time this is posted, I will no longer be in the air. But I’m writing this while en route to Memphis from Philly for the last Gadiparthi wedding. 
This week has been a whirlwind. I went up to a mountain in upstate New York this past week for a retreat for the department I will be joining in July. 
I have always chosen my places of training by gestalt– college, med school, residency, and now fellowship. It is always amazing to me how clearly God screams to me that I am where I am supposed to be. 
To be working with people who have such compassion and care for the patients that they serve– to get excited about the opportunity to meld my faith to that sort of career is humbling and amazing. 
I also am managing to read Jeffrey Eugenides’ “the marriage plot” as well, so my thoughts and his themes are fusing together. 
It stands to reason that if God can take of me so far—he can continue to do exceedingly above what I can ask or imagine. 

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what question are you afraid to ask

So I have finally returned. I feel like I have been on vacation!

Last week I was in New Paltz, NY for the movement disorders retreat and then i returned home long enough to repack my bags and go to Memphis for Keerthi’s wedding.

I woke up Friday to find that the city that I was suppose to be connecting through experiencing nasty weather, so I tried to beat fate and changed my flight to an earlier one. 

I still ended up delayed, but made it unscathed to Memphis and ready to go!

Anne is always such a good host and she and I met up with Isaac to explore an art crawl and listen to some music.

This becomes a perfect segue into things that are making me happy this week:

1. One perk of the south, besides y’all, sweet tea, and biscuits is not having to pay for drinks. 

Thank you gentlemen, thank you little old man Derek. your generosity is noted.

2. While I might not be in the market for any new ones, good guy friends are really great. 

Thank you for making me feel pretty and adding an air of mystery as my wedding date. (one again, your kindness is duly noted, I will bake for you in the future).  


and this transitions to my last bit:

debunking ideas.

so my friend Trent is a bit of a “truth speaker” he doesn’t candy coat things or calls out insincerity when it is present.

ergo the title of this blog. 

how much does ethnicity or religion play into my interactions with the men I have been interested in?

will one or both of these things always be the elephant in the room?

are the things that would make this go away things that i just can’t/shouldn’t anyway change about myself?

As a type A- person who is goals-oriented. as a woman who likes to fix things/improve myself, these sort of things are completely distressing.

if i had a flaw i could fix, i would like to know to fix it. but maybe this just is what it is.

and so, I shall work on being bilingual, and being a good Fellow, and figuring out more of what I want my life to look like. 

what did someone say? all you have is yourself.

and God of course. 

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happiness is not a fish that you can catch

neither is getting an apartment in Manhattan. blah. what an exhausting weekend.

onto things that are making me happy:

1. scramble with friends. ADDICTIVE. now to just beat my coworkers who i play with during the day.

2. chocolate almond milk.

3. joseph gordon levitt. i watched premium rush Thursday night. I watched Looper 2 weeks or so ago. he is just adorable.

that’s about it.

Kristin, I will check out the link you posted!


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just keep swimming

I’m in the urgent neuro clinic working on a research talk’s powerpoint presentation.

I am also listening to Death Cab For Cutie’s Photo Album from 2003. sheesh. the year I turned 20. 10 years ago.

I still remember the first time I heard them. We Laugh Indoors is such a good song.

tomorrow is my last day of ambulatory clinic. 1 more month to go of work for residency.

time flies when you’re counting down.

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on women

if there is one thing i am not, it is a feminist.

i would like to disclaim the above statement because it might be inflammatory. I am a Christian Humanist.
This means that I think that men and women are made in the image of God, with complementary attributes.
It also means that I think just as Annie does, “anything you can do, i can do better….” except probably in not so bratty a fashion.
I can work outside of the home. I can lift weights. I can also have a baby and bake. I can write a novel, perform a surgery, run a company, or design clothing.
all of these things are valid, and neither is more important than the other.
the point is that the value of a human transcends their gender. So a feminist, I am not.
I want to be treated with respect that as a human, I deserve. Equal pay, equal opportunity. And also protection and consideration–clearly if you see me lugging a heavy bag and I need the door open, You would do that for me– whether I was a man or woman.
To this end, my sexuality should not be my weapon. nor should I have to depend on it to get what I want. and so that is my bone to pick with the world.
I know there are some men who have been victims of this too, but more so this seems to be a woman’s problem–at least it seems.
-if a woman feels she needs to be sensual or show more skin to get success then we have a ways to go.
-if a young girl thinks that in order to be an “adult” or seen as a “legitimate artist” she has to shed a “good-girl” image by posing for magazines, or making out with other girls, or being all together crass, then we have a problem.
-when other women perpetuate these scenarios and when men encourage this behavior for their own shallow needs, we should be ashamed.
don’t even get me started on the subject of prostitution or pornography and how these things segue into sexual violence and human trafficking.
-Thank you Janelle Monae for showing that true musical talent can be embodied in a beautiful woman who also doesn’t flaunt her cleavage for the world to see–those suits are awesome.
– ladies who feel that empowerment = being half naked, elaborating on and on about your sexual prowess, you are fueling the fire that we have nothing to offer but our bodies. FAIL. you are not a powerful woman.
Go read a book. learn a language. play an instrument, master a sport. create something.
and please, put your clothes on and stop shaking your behind.
*remember those who have gone before who did not have a fraction of the platform we have. do. not. squander. it.
AND before I go–this also translates into relationships–
I’ve heard of men who what their wives/girlfriends to dress “sexier”. meanwhile, they look like 15 year old slobs. seriously? come -on!
And why are women that are decisive and intelligent intimidating? these things don’t mean they are cold and emotionless.
but that is an entirely different post all together!

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to infinity and beyond!

sad that i’ve actually never seen Toy Story. it’s almost as sad as the fact that i’m very lazy and don’t like capitalizing the start of sentences….i don’t know why my computer isn’t smart enough to just do that for me.

anyway, while i wait for my dear friend Danna to call for our phone date, i figured i would write a bit. i might leave in the middle of a thought, in which case, i’ll let you know, so it won’t seem so random.

this week has been somewhat productive. i’m the senior resident in the urgent care clinic, i completed my final clinical evaluation of residency, presented  treatment algorithms on essential tremor and parkinson’s disease, and have started to work on slides for  a research project talk which is a month from april 9. not too shabby.

this weekend i have my final 24 hour call in a hospital. another thing to check off of the list. i would’ve been done, but the powers that be mucked about with the schedule.

it is not yet spring. i don’t care what month it is–30 degrees is not spring.

and i go up to apartment hunt in manhattan next weekend.

of course as i have placed a moratorium on spending, i have found all sorts of things that i want– like a nice pair of old man pajamas, a new bag, a necklace, new sheets, books, kitchenware…what is wrong with me?

so let me just go to things that are making me happy this week, since i’ll not be around to do it this weekend:

1. the goodness of God. I have seen God’s kindness and mercy in my own life, but it is fantastic to see that favor lavished on people you love. So EXCITED for you Allie-kins!

2. suri’s burn book–i laughed aloud (for real) when i read the post about amy poehler’s adorable red-headed child. this tumblr is good for the soul.

3. this week’s mindy project in which she goes out with a Lutheran minister. absolutely point on satire of christian culture, “cool church” (lame). super good.

4. cheese. i’ve been eating those little bella cheeses in the red wax with crackers for snack. yum! and i bought some goat cheese brie, and totally plan on buying bread at whole foods while at work saturday and snacking on that and a pear.

5. the new Cold War Kids album. better yet Spotify. Thanks Brock. that spotify made all of your you-ness worth it I must say.

and so children, goodnight.

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