I know in whom I have believed

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That is a happy pictured taken by my buddy Lisa when she was visiting Philly and we went for Ramen. 

The smile says it all.

So yeah, the title of the post.

There are times in life when you just KNOW what you believe. Regardless of the naysayers, or of how life might not be doing all you expect/desire for it to do.

And when life is doing most of what you want, and you are content (for the most part).

As I stare my 30th birthday down (2 months from today), I am feeling a few things. 

1. 30 is a big deal. We all know how it felt to be all of a decade old (!!!), how it felt to turn 12 and be an “adolescent”, or 16 and be able to drive. 18 and leave home. 20 and feel weird, 21 and be able to drink and get into those pesky bars and concerts. 25, and feel sort of like an adult.  …….I remember 15 years ago writing down what I thought would happen by 30. I’m sure by 40, I’ll wonder what I was thinking too. 

2. I think with age (hopefully) there is more ease with being oneself. I like me. a bit more each year. the me that I believe is getting better with age. a bit more disciplined. a bit more compassionate. a bit less legalistic, but principled. maybe even better looking…okay, yes, definitely better looking! 

3. God has a lot of grace. and I am the recipient. I think the largeness of that is more evident to me daily. and I only hope that my life reflects that more each day. to others and to myself. Why would I compromise my integrity and character now to try to get something, I don’t even know if I really want…and surely don’t need. 

4. I have dodged some bullets. boy. hindsight will show you that what you thought you wanted, you really did not want. sometimes it is a painful lesson. but it is good in the end. 

5. This doctor thing is surreal. I think I am now done with the Match. no more friends are going through. officially my ties to medical training hazing rituals is OVAH. 

6. I still don’t have it figured all out. And that is okay.

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