So I think I have claustrophobia. Not in the sense of tiny physical spaces freaking me out, but more in the social/obligation/relationship sort of way. I hate feeling suffocated by people and things. I get nervous when everyone wants me to deliver on things to do and places to be. I don’t like feeling obligated to do and be. Although I am a complete extrovert. It’s a weird thing.
I have been thinking off and on about erasing my facebook account for the last couple of years. Friends have taken hiatuses, some friends have left, I have met people recently who have never succumbed to the peer pressure. But then last night, I was trolling spotify, and started to listen to Kid Cudi’s Pursuit of Happiness (Nightmare) and something snapped into place. Only to be followed by a co-worker who I really like tell me that she left facebook because it wasn’t making her any happier. and it was a waste of time.
And she was right. I mean, people that I actually have no real connection to are on there, there is no mystery any more. I am constantly reminded that I am poorer, more boring, single, that my fertile years are rapidly disappearing before my eyes.
Yeah. It needs to stop. I need to dedicate that time to prayer, deep reflection, listening to music, reading for fun, reading for neurology, talking to people I care about. Sheesh, being intentional again.
Maybe I would have more to talk about on here if I did that. I am not getting any younger. And so, taking the plunge.